martes, 24 de marzo de 2015

Day In The Life Of A Burglar

Day In The Life Of A Burglar

Hello.  My name is Adam.  Well, actually not really.  My line of work doesn´t allow for too much familiarity.  You´ve probably seen me or one of my friends before, but probably don´t remember what I look like.  In my profession not being notice is good thing. You see I´m a local neighborhood burglar.  I consider myself a professional.   Some steal with a pen, some steal with their promises (hello politicians) and I steal with my wits and guile.   I didn´t start out life planning on doing this, but most of us don´t end up where we planned to be, so long ago.  Hey, we all have to put food on the table somehow…
Why do I do what I do?  People make it easy for me to break into their homes and rob them of their possessions.  It´s kind of like why people rob banks.  It´s where the money is.  Robbing houses (think of it like retail) instead of businesses (commercial) is low risk, low stress, easy money.  It´s profitable for me, I have a flexible work schedule and there is no shortage of opportunity for growth and advancement.  At the end of the day, it´s a way to make a living.  There´s nothing personal when I´m selecting a home to rob, it´s just business.
Oh, by the way, the photo above is not how I normally dress, other than perhaps for Halloween.  I don´t walk around carrying a sign (Bad Guy) to make things harder for myself when I work.
What do I look for when I´m looking for my next target?  It could be any house, maybe even your house?
Well, you know the adage about how important the location of a house is to determining its value?  Ít´s basically the same.  It all starts with the neighborhood where the houses are.  I´ll casually walk around in the morning (8AM – 11AM) when there are less likely to be people around.  People have gone to work, to school, are doing errands, etc.  Less people around means less risk for me.  I´ll be dressed up as a gardener, cable, electric or telephone repair guy.  You know, someone you would expect to see in the neighborhood at that time.  You don´t notice these types of people, we just “blend in”.  I don´t want to call much attention or suspicion of the neighbors or anyone driving by.
What calls my attention to a particular house?  H´mm.  If there is lots of mail or newspapers and magazines (yes people do still read newspapers and magazines in some neighborhoods) piled up by the front door, or there are outside lights on during the day, that´s a good sign that no one is at home.  Maybe the garage door is open.  If so I check it out, since there is generally valuable stuff stored there.  How much privacy can I have when I´m working?  A good candidate is a house with a high privacy fence, lots of trees and shrubs covering the house windows – anything that can block the view of neighbors or the casual police car cruising by.  If I see children´s toys or playground equipment, I know there´s a family with a mom who probably has jewelry ($$$).  To get a better look, I will post some type of marketing flyer at the front door, to see if there is a home security system (signs or stickers visible) and how attentive anyone inside may be to someone approaching the front door.
If I have reached the decision that this is the target house, my next step is to… knock on the front door to see if anyone is at home.  If someone answers, I´ve always got a good bogus story to give them and I move on.  If not, it´s showtime!  Now it´s time for me to check the front or back door of the house to see if it is unlocked.  If locked, I´ll look for a key around the doorway.  People can be REALLY stupid leaving a key in an obviously place.  (Do you know they even have “fake rocks” to hide a house key?)   If no key, time for me to check for an unlocked window.  If still no go, I´ll break a window or door using my trusty crowbar (you can judge a man by the way he takes care of his tools and car.).  I can do all of this in less than a couple of minutes.  (Remember I said I was a professional.)  If all else fails, I´ll schedule it for some other time and continue down the street looking for another target house.
But usually I don´t have to reschedule.  (My time is too valuable to waste.)  Once I get inside the house, here´s what happens next.  I go through a search pattern that I have perfected through the years.  First I go straight to the master bedroom. I look for cash, jewelry, or anything that might be valuable. People make the mistake of leaving money or jewelry in the most common areas, including the closet and under the bed.  Next I check the bathroom medicine cabinets for any narcotic prescriptions since there are easy to sell.  Finally I check your kitchen and living room for electronics, credit cards, car keys, and personal information.  Your personal information can sometimes be the most valuable for me.  I don´t really know how to use it, but I know some professionals who can empty a bank account or credit card quickly, and I get a commission for the referral!
While going through this pattern I’m always listening for outside noises. You develop a “gift” for knowing how long you should be visiting before it is time to exit.  After I have gathered everything I need, I call my backup driver to meet me so we can load up all the goods in the car or van.
Once I have loaded all the goods, we are off to the next target.
On average that takes me between 8-12 minutes to get in and out of your house. On a good day I can visit several houses.
You’ll notice that I didn’t spend time looking for a wireless home security system.  Why not?  Well if there was one installed in the house, there would be a security sign and window stickers outside, by the entrance way.  I wouldn´t have bothered to target this house to begin with and would have simply moved on.  (I have been surprised on a few occasions where the homeowner did have a home security system and didn´t place the signs outside, but not too often.  Me bad.)
Well, what should you do so that I don’t come visit your home while you and your family is away?  Start off with the wireless home security system.  Best investment you can make.  If I have to break a window or door, your system will notify your smartphone right away and the police will come visiting right away.  If I didn’t have to break anything but still got in anyway, the thermal motion sensors will be trigged with my movement.  Again you get notified remotely and again so do the police.  If your wireless home security system has an indoor video camera, you can know what I’m doing remotely, what I look like, how I’m dressed.  Basically I’m toasted.  Also, I should mention that I don’t like dogs.  Cats are fine.  A wireless home security system and dog are a perfect combination.
Why a wireless rather than a less expensive landline home security system?  If its been a slow day and I’m really, really determined, I’ll cut your outside phone line before entering your house.  You now have a DEAD home security system.
I appreciate your taking the time to read my story.  Remember I’m Adam (not really) and I hope to see your house soon!

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